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I OWE MY MOTHER!!
- My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
- My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
- My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
- My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
- My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
- My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"
- My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
- My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS."Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
- My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
- My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all those peas are gone."
- My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
- My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
- My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
- And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day
you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
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